There have been lot of new discoveries about child development, child behavior, and the nature of the parent-child relationship, during the last few decades and most of the educated parents go in for parenting books while the child is still in the uterus.
No doubt, the volume of information can be overwhelming but sometimes it is so that you are stunned over the words uttered in response to your query or action and such incidents becomes memorable in your life.
The other day, I talked to one of the experts in the field to know about the prime ways parents can mess up their kids. He advised that the parents should low-down on what harms and helps kids. Do's and don'ts definitely help your child develop into a happy, confident and well-rounded little person.
In fact, a child's feeling of attachment to his parents and caregivers is one of the most important things in a child's development, especially during formative years. At the same time, one of the biggest problems with parenting advice is that one size does not fit all.
For children, the thought that you could leave them alone in a strange place is terribly frightening and can begin to erode their attachment towards you as the secure base from which they can encounter the world. A simple but extremely important rule of thumb in child rearing is, "never lie to your child, ignore your own behavior".
What I have felt in my study of parent-child relations is that it is important to remember that what worked for one does not necessarily work for the other. It depends upon the needs of each child at the forefront and affordability of parents which go a long way in the development of children. Similarly, when a child knows that parents are there to make right the things that go wrong, creates a sense of security which stays with them as they grow.
One such recent incident is still fresh in my mind. The education of my granddaughter – Samaira - an Indian born residing in Singapore – has surprised me about her speaking accent and use of certain words which even I have not used in the normal course of discussions. During her last visit, I said to her that you are joking on me, after all I'm your naanu (maternal grandfather). Without waiting even for fraction of a second, she uttered, no naanu, I was just pretending.
During her second visit to my place, Samaira kept watching all my activities in the morning. The next day, when I had cleaned the washroom, she said, "Nanu, you have nicely cleaned the washroom but my mom can't do like that." After sometime, the moment I came out of the same washroom after having a shower, she expressed herself with a six-words sentence, in a simply smiling tone, "Nannu, now you too are cleaned."
Frankly speaking, I was bewildered with her spontaneous response co-relating to my earlier activities. Anyhow, I am happy to see the development of a child in this age and sometimes I too wish to be born in this age.
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HARISH MONGA, Feature Writer
harishmongadido@gmail.com
Phone No. : 9815087107
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