Tackling Social Media Rudeness and Negativity........by Gurjot Singh Kaler

Chandigarh: The internet and social media have revolutionized human lives like never before. People can now communicate easily with each other even if they are sitting away miles apart in distance, space or time. 

Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, etc., have become a household name as people have adapted themselves to their unique digital identities and feel proud of being a part of the ever-growing online community.

 No doubt, the social media has grown by leaps and bounds as people engage with each other on a 24×7 basis. Even when the normal world sleeps, people are always active on social media as they are hooked on to it, thereby posting latest tweets, sharing their recent pictures and commenting on everyday news and incidents. 

Social media has invaded people’s lives with a vengeance and it appears nobody wants to miss even a single notification on their Instagram or Facebook. The addiction to social media has become a reality of today’s times as even small children can be seen discussing their profile pictures in school’s classrooms. 

While attending any family get-togethers, or dinners, it is a casual occurrence now-a-days that people are not even talking to each other as they used to do in earlier times. 

Rather, everyone seems to be lost in the screens of their mobile phones as they are busy watching the newsfeed of their social media apps and engaging in conversations with netizens, many of whom are not even personally known to them in real life.

In the age of digital connectivity, social media has woven a vast tapestry of relationships, transcending geographical boundaries and bringing people together in ways unimaginable just a few decades ago. Yet, within the vibrant threads of this interconnected web, a disconcerting pattern emerges – a surge in rudeness and judgmental behavior that seems to tarnish the very fabric of online interaction.

 As we scroll through our feeds, the prevalence of cynical comments has become a stark reality, prompting a reflection on why social media, a platform designed for connection, has inadvertently become a breeding ground for negativity. 

Exploring this paradox unveils not only the challenges but also the potential solutions to reclaim a space that was meant to foster understanding and camaraderie.

One worrying aspect which has come to the fore in recent times is also the fact that social media is actually not a sociable place anymore. If you have been using social media for a long time, you probably know that people do not come across as very kind, decent or respectful to each other on social media. 

All etiquettes, mannerisms, codes of moral and social conduct are thrown to the wind on social media as people indulge in scurrilous languages, vituperative comments and diatribe references in commenting, shaming and degrading others on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, etc.

Online opinions have the capacity to trigger emotional outbursts if they run counter to our core beliefs, attitudes and worldviews.

People can be seen posting nasty comments and body-shaming others on social media just to defame and hurt those who do not agree to their point of view on any topic or issue of interest.

Abusive and curse words are a routine matter and the Twitter war of words are an everyday occurrence which polarizes people. In fact, when vicious kind of hate campaigns get unleashed against some targeted individuals on social media, then some sensitive people get forced to even close their social media accounts temporarily or permanently to escape the dirty flow of abuse, defamation and malicious trolling. Social media has become unsatisfying and unhealthy due to the overly aggressive and insulting behavior of users as Twitter feuds and Facebook rants have become a daily norm.

What is the reason behind so much hate, scornful and filthy language that is usually used in social media discussions or debates? If we try to explore it in detail, we will agree to conclude that most of the people who use such kind of rotten language for others on social media are doing it through the cloak of secrecy and anonymity by making fake accounts on social media.

People find it easy to vent out their frustration and stress on others through social media rather than facing them in real life. Mischievous elements in our society seem to derive a sarcastic pleasure by remaining anonymous on social media and targeting the reputed persons in an abusive manner. Trolling has become a hobby for certain individuals as they stand nothing to lose by remaining anonymous on social media through fake user profiles. 

People do tend to act differently online than they do in person. Character assassinations of people, especially the girls are a routine affair on social media as the anonymous users post rude, objectionable and lewd comments on their profiles to disrepute them. 

Now, the concept of deep fake videos has emerged which has further deteriorated the content on social media. Judgmental behavior and criticism are a part of human psychology and societal dynamics and these have existed even before the advent of social media. 

However, people used to feel inhibited in expressing their raw and unbridled anger or unjustifiable opinions to others in real face-to-face interactions. The invention of social media has given them the opportunity to speak or write anything deplorable about anyone without bothering about the accountability of their misdeeds.

Essentially, when people interact online, they have lesser inhibitions and due to the anonymity of internet, they can escape the responsibility of owning up to the nasty things they said or expressed.

 As a result, sometimes, people begin to behave meaner and ruder and this results in creation of hostile online environments where feelings of revenge sets in. It is called toxic online disinhibition effect which can be defined as the loosening of social restrictions and inhibitions that are normally present in face-to-face, eye contact-based interactions in real life.

 The anonymity provided by social media allows individuals to express opinions without the fear of immediate consequences. This often leads to a disinhibition effect, where people feel liberated to make rude and judgmental comments they might not make in face-to-face interactions.

Cyberbullying has become a major phenomenon as people feel emboldened by the anonymity and invisibility of the internet which makes them escape the accountability of their actions and rudeness on social media. Continuous exposure to other people’s lives on social media with a regular flux of information also leads to undesirable comparisons and unfair judgments. 

The culture of comparison is fostered by social media, where people showcase curated versions of their lives. This creates feelings of inadequacy and fuel judgment as individuals measure themselves against unrealistic standards.

The social media algorithms contribute to the formation of echo chambers, reinforcing pre-existing beliefs and isolating individuals from diverse perspectives. This fuels judgmental attitudes as people become less tolerant of differing opinions. Also, the instant nature of social media encourages impulsive reactions. People hastily post judgmental comments without fully considering the consequences, contributing to a culture of rudeness.

What are the ways to avoid the negativity and dark cynicism of social media?

1. It is best to not indulge in any kind of communication with the rude, aggressive and judgmental people on social media. There is no need to reciprocate and reply to the abusers as it would give them the cheap thrill of instigating you and further provide them the required fodder for eliciting a response/reaction from your side. Do not tackle the negativity of trollers with the negativity of your own. Differentiate between illogical haters and genuine critics. Engage in constructive dialogue with people who have real accounts on social media and learn to ignore the fake trollers who hide their identities through fake profiles and feel invincible behind the anonymity of their computer screens.
2. Simply, block the offenders and abusers without engaging in any sort of verbal duel of words or actions. You cannot win the negative people by convincing them through your rational and logical arguments. It will be a waste of precious time to allow yourself to be trapped into their biased cycle of accusations and play their blame game. Be objective in your replies and do not let yourself be emotionally drained by the rudeness. Do not stoop to their low level; just block them straightaway as you do not owe them any explanation or justification for your actions. It is prudent to subscribe to the option of comment approval feature on your social media platforms or disable potentially offensive comments. Learn to prioritize your mental health, peace of mind and personal happiness over proving yourself right to strangers and trollers on social media. Remember, most of the trollers have a weak personality as they suffer from personal insecurities and they don’t have the guts and character to say the nasty things on your face in real life. Show mercy on the trollers, forgive them for their lack of confidence in real life and block them into oblivion. Their existence does not matter as they are just parasites of the darkness of social media.
3. Practice digital detoxification if the sarcasm and negativity of social media becomes too much to handle. Simply, press the pause button and deactivate your social medias for a few weeks or month and take a digital break from the internet. Get back into the real life, take a walk in the park, go to the mountains for a leisurely holiday and switch off the intimidating screens of your mobile phones.
4.  If you feel something is bothering you deeply, it is really advisable to share your anxiety or concerns with your family and friends. Consulting the psychologists can be a good healing option as mental health should be protected and nourished at any cost. If needed, do not hesitate to approach the police authorities or court of law when somebody tries to blackmail you into extortion or character assassination on social media. Always take a screenshot of the nasty and abusive comments which can be helpful for the police in tracking down the miscreants. Also, equally good would be to report the profiles of abusers to the social media platforms for disabling of their accounts. 
5. If you personally know the online abuser in real life, respond to such users on social media with a cool head and a dignified manner. The social media communication is designed in non-verbal and written manner which can sometimes exacerbate the way we misunderstand what is intended to be conveyed by the other person. When we are upset or angry, our cognitive processes and problem-solving abilities do not work to the best of their capacities. So, best way is to think and reflect upon what we are going to respond. Draft your reply and do not end it immediately. Wait for atleast half-an-hour to recollect your thoughts and remember you cannot fight fire with fire. Do not spew venom to genuine criticism but keep an open mind by asking yourself if you are able to add something of good value to the discussion. Practice empathy and invest your energy in sharing your point of view from the angle the critic can understand or appreciate. If any online communication with your friend or someone you know personally disintegrates into chaos and mud-slinging battle of emotions, simply excuse yourself out of it and leave the discussion gracefully. Discuss the matter offline or face-to-face and do not let the non-verbal mode of social media communication spoil your real-world relations with each other. Lack of eye contact in online debates makes people more comfortable in being rude and aggressive to others.
6. It is also advisable to set boundaries and reduce the time spent on social media to mitigate exposure to negativity and unnecessary judgements. It is further suggested to being mindful of engaging only in constructive conversations and avoiding unnecessary arguments. Practice empathy, compassion and kindness. Do not become a troll or hater yourself while trying to deal with one. 

A collective effort is needed on the part of society to foster a more positive online environment. The social media has the great potential to be a platform for constructive dialogue and connection when used responsibly. In conclusion, while social media has undeniably brought people closer in the digital realm, it has also unveiled a darker side marked by increased rudeness and judgmental behavior. The anonymity, echo chambers, and instant gratification culture have contributed to a toxic online environment.

However, as users of these platforms, we hold the power to shape the narrative. By being mindful of our own online conduct, fostering empathy, and promoting constructive conversations, we can work towards a more positive and inclusive digital space.

In the face of cynicism, let us choose kindness. In the midst of judgment, let us choose understanding. As we navigate the complexities of the online world, let our interactions be guided by respect, empathy, and a collective commitment to making social media a place where meaningful connections thrive. 

Together, we can rewrite the narrative and create a virtual landscape that reflects the best of humanity.

January 23, 2024