FOMO, Phone Addiction, and Social Media: Finding Balance by Gurjot Singh Kaler

With the proliferation of high-speed internet technology and advent of different hues of social media, people in today’s digital era are hooked on to their mobile phones like never before. Right from the time we open our eyes in the morning to the time we go to bed at night, we are constantly glued to the screens of our mobile phones and continuously searching news-cum-information, watching videos-cum-reels and downloading photos-cum-documents etc., on WhatsApp and social media. It is notable that the average screen time viewership hours have increased terribly for a vast majority of the people since last few years, which, in turn, is proving dangerously harmful for their physical, psychological and emotional well-being.

Have we ever wondered as to why have we become so toxically addicted to our mobile phones? We feel deeply anxious or highly uncomfortable if our phone’s battery is not charged fully. Our anxiety levels reach sky high levels if our phones get accidentally switched off as we continue to speculate if we are missing attending somebody’s important calls or messages. There is a constant fear lurking inside our minds of missing out on some sort of important notifications on phones if they are not placed nearby us. Whether we are sitting in the toilets or attending some meetings in offices or participating in any friend or family get-togethers or even going to a temple for meditation, one thing is common – we take our phones with us wherever we go and are constantly looking at them with anxiety, scrolling through the unlimited apps with our sore thumbs and watching thousands of videos and photos without any pause/break. It is worrisome. After all,what has exactlyhappened to us as human-beings as a species? Why are we so much prone to addiction to these electronic gadgets called mobile phones? In fact, a specific term has become popular in recent years called as ‘Nomophobia’ which describes a psychological condition when people have a fear of being detached from mobile phone connectivity. It is high time to discuss and analyse the phenomenon called FOMO which can answer these vexatious questions for us.

The term ‘FOMO’ stands for ‘Fear of Missing Out’.

With FOMO, you tend to worry about others having rewarding experiences without you.A common example of FOMO is being worried about missing events that your friends might attend, which can cause you to constantly check the social media platform that you all use.

The term was first coined in year 2004, when image-based platforms gave us a deep visual peek into people’s lives. In year 2013, FOMO was defined as having a highly pervasive apprehension that other people might be having rewarding experiences from which one is absent.

FOMO has existed long before the advent of mobile phones or social media. FOMO preys on low self-esteem, loneliness, and fear of social exclusion, and is thought to trigger 2 processes: the feeling or perception that one is missing out on some rewarding experiences or potentially positive outcomes which others are having and a compulsive desire to continually track what others are doing. The degree of FOMO experienced by an individual depends on his/her negative life experiences and unmet social needs. FOMO can be felt as a single episode, a long-term disposition, or an overall state of mind. If not restrained properly, FOMO can lead to a deeper sense of social inferiority, loneliness or rage.

In today’s cyber era, FOMO has been associated to fuel the addiction to mobile phones amongst today’s social media crazy generation and gets manifested in people’s irresistible urge to constantly check their phones as they fear missing out on some important updates or breaking news or trending information which others have access to. According to various researchers, FOMO has been found to be more visible in today’s adolescents and younger population who have high-speed smartphones in their pockets and different types of social media on their fingertips.FOMO can affect individuals of all ages and backgrounds, but it is often associated with younger generations who have grown up with constant digital connectivity and bombardment of notifications through social media. Today, the fear of missing out on current or upcoming events causes people to repeatedly check their social media platforms.Social media platforms often exacerbate FOMO because they showcase curated, idealized versions of people's lives and activities. Scrolling through posts of friends and influencers enjoying exciting experiences can intensify feelings of missing out.Medical experts have termed the mobile phone addiction as more dangerous than addiction to smoking, cocaine, heroin or drugs. While the adverse effects of cocaine or smoking can be easily noticed in terms of overtly declining health of an affected individual; it’s certainly more subtle and difficult to detect the signs of phone addiction which manifests in people in terms of anxiety, depression, hallucinations, sedentary lifestyles, lack of concentration, mood disorders, stress, fatigue, emotional upheavals and sleep pattern disturbances. FOMO is closely linked to social media fatigue which refers to the mental exhaustion faced by an individual after engaging with social media.

As social media grows in its mass reach and popularity with an exponential ability to influence and shape our lives, FOMO looks virtually impossible to avoid- but it does not mean that it cannot be controlled. FOMO is certainly not forever and can be dealt with wisely to overcome it.

To tackle your FOMO, you should first identify when and where you experience it, which thought patterns and behaviors you engage in as a result of it, and why you experience it in the first place.Once you identify the nature of your FOMO problem, you can use relevant techniques to help you deal with it, such as removing FOMO triggers from your environment, making it harder for yourself to engage in FOMO-driven behaviors, and using nudges to help you avoid

FOMO-based thought patterns.

One of the antidotes to the sticky trap of FOMO is taking a break from the trending world of social media.Social media was designed to bring people together and create a platform for sharing information. But with an endless stream of updates to gain explicit feedback of users, it has created a pressure of its own. It can be difficult to go cold turkey or put a total stop on our daily interaction with social media but it would be useful if we reduce the number of hours, we spend mindlessly scrolling the reels on Instagram or watching YouTube videos.Limiting the usage of social media in life can help us minimise the negative comparisons we may place on ourselves versus others. When you lower the time spent on social media, you will discover that you feel less jealous, less angry and more at peace with yourself and those around you. Taking a step back from the chaotic world of social media addiction can be a life-changing process as it will give you more time to focus on your passions, goals and objectives of life that will bring more fulfillment, peace and satisfaction. Indulging in digital detoxification and setting phone screen time boundaries can be a panacea to overcoming the FOMO.

If we replace negative habits that cause us to experience FOMO with more positive ones, it can be helpful to avoid FOMO. For example, if an individual tends to experience FOMO because of his/her loneliness and boredom at home, then, they can try to go outside their homes and engage in some fruitful activity like sports or pursue a hobby so that the FOMO does not get triggered.

It is also important to identify as to what triggers your FOMO which, in turn, will help you get out in front of situations before they set off that alarm. Maintaining a journal of your thoughts and emotions can be helpful in identifying the triggers of FOMO and then, consciously working upon them to avoid them in the future. Spending time with your loved ones can also be useful in tackling FOMO. If you feel that FOMO has caused a serious breakdown in your everyday functioning and you feel like taking the professional help of a therapist, do not hesitate to contact a psychologist or a behavioural expert at interpersonal therapy or cognitive methodologies.  There is no shame in taking the help of a therapist or psychologist.

Another alternative way towards tackling FOMO can be adopting the JOMO approach by focusing on contentment and satisfaction with who you truly are rather than trying to become what others pressurise you to be.

JOMO-

While we have discussed a lot about FOMO, it’s essential to also throw light on the concept of JOMO which can be called a distant cousin of FOMO. We have all experienced FOMO or JOMO in our lives at some point or the other. The term ‘JOMO’ can be identified as the opposite of FOMO and stands for the ‘Joy of Missing Out’. The joy of missing out represents a contrasting mindset to FOMO, and involves openly accepting and celebrating the fact that one is missing out on some things.

In the case of JOMO, you basically focus your energies, efforts and time on what makes you truly content, happy and peaceful without bothering about what others are doing. The concept of JOMO embraces the wonderful idea of prioritizing self-care and finding joy or contentment in missing out or opting out of activities in which others indulge in. There is no pressure on individuals in JOMO universe to participate in some activities just because others are participating in it; they get to make their personal conscious decisions if they really want to participate or not in any activity, guided by their own mental state of happiness. People who experience JOMO feel more authentic and truer about themselveswith regards to what they value and prioritise in life.People who experience JOMO instead of FOMO are less likely to be addicted to the screens of their mobile phones. The benefits of JOMO can be manifold in terms of increasing one’s productivity and focus, augmenting one’s engagements in relationships and boosting one’s physical, emotional and mental health.

Rather than worrying about what you are missing in life, it would be more helpful to focus on practicing gratitude and becoming thankful for what you have. Establishing realistic goals, keeping a journal to document one’s emotions, engaging oneself in meditation and practicing mindfulness can help escape the toxic trap of FOMO. Mindfulness involves focusing on the present moment as you’re experiencing it, while accepting your thoughts and emotions in a non-judgmental manner. This mindset can help you avoid FOMO where possible, and help you reduce FOMO’s negative impact in situations where you don’t manage to avoid it entirely.

FOMO is inevitable and we have all experienced it at some point in our lives. Whether we let it cast a dark shadow and let it continue to negatively affect our emotional well-being on a long-term basis depends completely on our mental resolve to focus on what makes us truly happy in life. Happiness is a state of mind and it never comes from comparing ourselves to others, chasing perceived expectations, feeling jealous of others, or considering ourselves to be superior to others. The goal should be to live a life of happiness and contentment. It can happen only when we develop the understanding to realise that everyone is unique in this world and there is no need to constantly compare our lives with others. Real joy lies in simplest of things and having realistic expectations in life. It is not the quantity but the quality of experiences that matters.Recognizing and managing FOMO is truly imperative for maintaining physical, mental and emotional well-being in today's fast-paced interconnected world of digital era.